Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
