Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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