no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
