Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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