I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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