You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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