Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
