Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love accidental penises.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
