just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
