There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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