My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
