That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
