Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize