I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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