I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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