I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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