I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
