was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
