oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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