okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
