You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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