my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
