Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
