Im at strip club and am horny
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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