Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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