You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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