I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize