Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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