Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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