By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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