Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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