I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
