dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
