sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
