Moan for me like Helen Keller
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is it penis luge time yet?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
