I hate all girls vehemently.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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