You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
