a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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