she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
