We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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