So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
