His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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