tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
