right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
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We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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