I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Porn is love you can see.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
