she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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