My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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