I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize