your room smells of hookers.
And success
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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