butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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