you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
