is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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