Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
