I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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