Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
