I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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