dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't turn off my feet"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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