Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
