Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
