butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She is in my trunk
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
