I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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