she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
