Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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