OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
