I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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