I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
