Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
