NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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