Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
