you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
