haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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